Wiling and Unable
by enodemon
Summary: After Garett is replaced by Slokum, Nigel is trying to deal with his problems.This was written on a challenge to pair Nigel and Garret. I did my best to make that happen.Hope you enjoy and then let me know about that,k?Rating for violence angst and sex.
1. Chapter 1

Willing and unable Part one 

The soft afternoon daylight was fading away into evening. The last candle was burning out in a puddle of its own wax. His lanky figure still splayed out on the rumpled sheets was motionless. Dark hair fell over his cheeks covering the stain of dry blood. His sleep was dreamless, or at least he wouldn't remember the chaotic images that played under his closed lids. He woke to the sensation that his body had gone limp from the cold. He shivered so hard it woke him. He tried to lick his dry lips but his tongue was swollen. 'Bloody hell…' He murmured reaching for the ever-present glass of water on his nightstand.

He stood on shaky legs and walked to the bathroom. Nature was screaming. His bladder felt like it might explode. As he stood over the toilet, dick in hand he could not remember a time when peeing felt more gratifying. But his knees were weak and task completed he sat on the toilet seat to rest. He needed food. But feeding required moving all the way to the kitchen. Bracing himself he stood once again and padded naked across his flat and into the dim, small practical kitchen. There he stuffed him self with the tow French croissants he found and chased them down with fresh milk, cold, straight from the fridge. He drank so fast he couldn't swallow it all and it trickled down his chin and neck. He wiped it with the back of his hand. 'Mucsh better.' He poured out the left over coffee from the machine and slipped into the soft armchair in his living room draping a blanket over his naked, quite frozen body. The fabric felt good on his skin. He lay back and sipped at the cold coffee. Slowly the heat returned to his body and he dozed off for a short time.

An insistent ringing brought him back to consciousness. It was his cell. Reluctantly he got up and walked over to his discarded leather jacket and fished the still ringing phone out from the inner pocket.

'Hello?'

'Nigel? Where are you?' 

'At home.' He answered bluntly. Then his brain kicked back into reality mode and he realized who was on the other end of this conversation. 'Is there…um…is there something the matter, Doctor M?'

'You move you're butt down here right now! You don't show up for work for tow days in a row and you don't answer you're phone and now you ask me what's the matter?'

'I'll be there.'

'You better!'

The man sounded positively pissed. The information sunk in finally. He'd missed work for tow entire days? And he still had a job? He rubbed his temples furiously. Nigel made his way back to the bathroom. The image in the mirror nearly gave him a heart attack. His face looked as white as a sheet of paper, his hair was a mess and as he brushed it back he saw the blood stain on his skin. A pair of red-rimmed eyes stared back at him from the smooth surface of the mirror. He took the quickest shower and slipped into his clothes. He put a wool scarf around his neck to hide the blackening bruise that marked his skin there.

The ride to work seemed longer then ever. It felt like moving in thick, sticky cream and not air. He felt exhausted, like he'd just run the marathon. He stopped at a red light, shivering. The cold had seeped into his bones and it wouldn't vacate the premises easily. He blinked and there she was…her dark hair moving over her face as the wind played with it softly. She held her arms crossed over her chest, cradling the little girl…Sarah. Nigel's jaw dropped opened as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Another blink and she was gone. But not from his mind, not from his thoughts. She was still there where it mattered, where it hurt. Beautiful Sarah, cunning and deceiving…making him fall in love with her! Reaching into him and pushing all the right buttons, twisting him around, wrapping him around her finger. Sure he could understand a mother's despair when her relationship with her child was threatened, but there would have been other ways to make sure she wouldn't loose her daughter. And he knew he would have been there unconditionally for her. And all this because he truly believed she'd loved him. Good ol' Bug and Jordan had tried their best to comfort him. They took him out and he pretended to laugh at their jokes and he pretended to be comforted, but that was just the way he was. Never admit hurt. Never let it show for real. He didn't pretend nothing was wrong either, that would have been too obvious, but let some bruises show when people expected to see them, then let them think they helped so they'd feel good about them selves and believe the world is right again. This was the game he always played. Then he went home and in the silence and darkness he'd admit defeat once again. He couldn't tell them just how much he hurt, there were no words. He would just lick his wounds clean in solitude and keep on pretending.

This time it was different though. He'd slipped up. He wasn't strong enough. Instead of going home after they'd parted that night he went to an inn, just outside of town. He was just thinking of getting drunk, sleep it off there and roll back into town the next morning and be over it. But it was impossible. The nagging thought would not fade away. He knew he had been tempted for just a split second to say yes to Sarah's proposal. He wanted to leave with her, to believe she loved him. But by then it was crystal clear she didn't and it was that which kept him from accepting. Everyone else looked at him like he was some sort of hero; even Sarah's husband had thanked him for doing the right thing. But he hadn't really, not truly. He didn't turn her in because he'd felt it was right. He did it out of vengeance. To show her he wasn't fooled anymore. He did it because he knew she didn't love him and she'd used him. That was why he sent her to prison and away from her child. Not because he'd believed she was wrong in running or in separating her from her father or because she was an unfit parent. She had dared play with him and he'd punished her for it. Sent her to prison, made sure her ultimate goal, the one she'd used him to get to, would never ever be achieved.

He did go to the inn and gotten drunk. But when it came to crawling up to his room there, he didn't go alone as planed. The red head at the end of the bar had gone upstairs with him. They had bought each other drinks all night, she pretended to listen to his rambling, and they ended up in bed together. 'Lovely creature that was what she whispered in his ear, he argued, said he was a scumbag…But maybe she didn't say it at all and he'd imagined it.

His memory played tricks on him. He remembered trying to fuck her but failing miserably due to the large quantity of alcohol in his bloodstream. And when morning came she was still there, she told him he had fallen asleep and left her unsatisfied. 'So I hung around to see if I can get what I came here for after all.' And she did, in the gray morning light, on that small hard bed. She had bitten his neck. He remembered the pain had finally made him come, and now he had the bruise of the century to show for it. Then he got dressed and left. He smelled of alcohol and her as he got on his bike. Thought he'd go home grab a shower and head to work. Yet again his plans didn't work out. As he was heading home fighting his hangover he nearly ran into a guy. The man was leaning on his elbow, trying to crawl off the road. Nigel managed to stop just in time. The man was desperate; he and his wife had been on the receiving end of a hit and run. His leg was broken in tow places… he begged Nigel to help. So he got off his bike, phoned 911 and tried to comfort the man. He couldn't do more than stop his bleeding…the woman was dead. He almost smiled thinking he could do more for her than for him. The thought disturbed him deeply. Again and again faith showed him how his skills, the abilities he was usually so proud of, were only silly things that could help no one. His ME training had brought Sarah to him…and it was the reason he could not save anyone's life. Cut'em up, see why they died, be excited to find every last piece of the puzzle. No good. Then the paramedics came and he slipped out of sight. He had nothing to say to the police about the accident, he hadn't seen it happen. So he just left. He went home, pealed his clothes of on his way to the bedroom and crawled into bed…the woman's blood still on his skin. He slept for 38 hours straight.

Now he was headed for the morgue, but he wasn't sure what he'd say to them, to all of them. He wasn't sure he still wanted his job there if he still had one.

It was close to midnight when he got there. Sidney was pulling a late night of paperwork. The hallways were quiet, flooded by cold neon light. He stopped at Macy's door feeling unreal. He knocked softly and entered.

'Finally! Took you long enough to get here!'

'Doctor M, I… '

'No time for that now. We are expecting plenty of work. There has been a problem with some pipes under the city. A subway tunnel was flooded. 'Bout 78 bodies are headed this way. Get ready.'

'Are we alone here?'

'Sidney is in his office, Bug's down in the crypt moving bodies around to make some more space. I paged Jordan. I hope she'll call in.'

'Where is she? She wouldn't miss this much action for the world.'

'Woody's in the hospital. He's been shot. It's serious. But I'm sure she'll come in.'

'She will.'

Nigel didn't think he could feel even worst then he already did. But while he was busy crying over spilled milk the world had moved on and took a turn for the worst. Maybe people would never love him the way he needed to be loved but it didn't mean that they didn't at all. It just meant that each of them had their own personal hell to deal with. Come to think of it every member of this staff had their own wounds that ran bone deep.

Jordan did show up about an hour later. She looked tired and burned out. They drove together to the site to pick up the bodies.

The night went by fast and in silence, the only words spoken were about work. He felt lonely. Dead bodies all around waiting to be identified and put away in drawers and a hand full of tired medical examiners sipping cold coffee from polyester cups. Life was pretty much back to normal despite Sarah and her deceit, despite crazy drivers who kill and run, and despite good cops who are shot through bullet-poof vests. He felt like suffocating. He had to get out of Boston for a long time. Maybe go visit London for a week or tow. He had plenty of vacation time coming up. Come tomorrow he would speak to Garret. And if he didn't approve of his plan he would resign. He missed foggy old London, especially those old crowded streets with the underground bars he used to hang out in. Back then when his hairline had just started its trip towards the back of his head and when he wore his hair long and straight down over his shoulder blades…those were the days. Just before his dad found him out and enrolled him in the navy to make a true man out of him…and just before his mother stopped looking at him with love in her eyes. That had been his last beautiful summer. He was young and beautiful and free.

_**20 years ago**_

Nigel was comfortable. The chair was soft, the music was just loud enough, and people were dancing. The club was full as usual and the night was still young. He was more excited than ever, he just heard from Oxford that afternoon. He had been accepted, he was on his way to become a doctor, but more than that, a student. That meant parties and excitement mixed with the best medical training program in the country. And all this was to be his and his alone in just a few short months. He was so happy his head was spinning and not just from the beer he had.

'Look, I made a friend!' Maddy said with her cheery voice bending over to kiss Nigel's cheek before sitting and dragging said friend down with her on the couch. She patted the space next to her signaling Nigel to come closer. He looked at her moving his fingers through his hair and did as he was asked. The new comer sized him up as he moved crossing the short distance from chair to couch. He was clearly impressed with the delicate, tall figure approaching. Tight dark pants clung to his long legs like a second skin and a pale blue shirt covered his upper body, first two buttons undone. The blood red lipstick went amazingly well with his natural paleness and his eyes were beautifully outlined. He looked like a vision of androgynous beauty. The young man thought that if the moon would ever decide to become human, this would be the form it would choose. He was enchanted.

'He's new in town. He's looking for a good time.' The young man extended his hand to shake Nigel's. He said his name but thanks to the music, Nigel didn't hear it.

'This is Nin. Like Anais Nin.' Maddy spoke loudly into the man's ear introducing Nigel. Nigel read Incest for the first time when he was 15 and ever since he remained Anais's biggest fan. His friends started calling him Nin and he enjoyed it and the name stuck. Then Maddy was gone and Nigel was left on the couch with the new guy.

'Who is Anais Nin?' the man asked moving closer to Nigel.

'She was a writer. I love her work. She was Henry Miller's lover. You know, Tropic of Cancer…?'

'Right. I think I read that one.' The man looked at Nigel his eyes smiling. Obviously he had one too many. 'Wanna dance, Nin?' Nigel smiled and nodded, his long black hair falling over his shoulders. And dance they did, the young man holding Nigel close and leading a slow dance despite the real rhythm of the music. 'You are a lovely dancer…lovely creature…'

'You're not all bad your self. But let's sit.' They barley made it to the couch before the young man pushed his lips over Nigel's. Nigel loved it. What better way to start a vacation? This was his last true night in town, tomorrow he'd get on a train and travel to the University, make the last arrangements, sign the papers and then off to xxxx for the remainder of the summer for long lazy days on the beach. Ironic his last night was this guy's first night in more ways than one as he would soon find out. The kiss was a bit clumsy at first but as they became accustomed to the touch and each other's rhythm it got better. The man's fingers combed through his hair, his lips smeared the lipstick around his mouth with hungry kisses. For a second Nigel was tempted to break the kiss and ask for his name, but thought better of it. Names don't matter. Serious things will come at a serious age his aunt used to say. Not yet. Nigel was intent on stealing a few more years of youth out of life.

'Come with me.'

Present day 

'What's up Nige?'

He looked up startled. He didn't even realize he was staring into nothing for quite some time.

'How's Woodrow?' Jordan gave a faint smile and sat next to him.

'He's… Well Woody's Woody. I…um, I think I pushed things too far, you know. He's angry.' Nigel suddenly realized he was getting more than the usual "nothing's really wrong" Jordan. She was telling him the truth and they were not even drunk, nor had he spent hours beating around the bush with her to squeeze a confession out of her. She was tired and to tell by the look in her eyes, she must have been downright scared.

'He'll get over it. He's always angry with you about something.'

'Everybody saw that little detail but me, huh? I hope he gets over it. I'm not used to pursue forgiveness. I'm not very good at asking for it either. I think he actually got to the point where he … he hates me.'

'I was just thinking how we excel at making a mess out of our lives. But, if anyone is a forgiving soul, besides doctor M, it must be Woody. He must be scared and angry with the whole world right now. I know I would be.' he almost said "I am" at that point but restrained himself.

'But I feel… I want to be there and he won't let me. I want to live up to the image he has of me.'

'You feel guilty. But, love, you didn't shoot him, you didn't almost kill him. Let him work through his anger and then he'll be different.'

'I don't know. I'm just thinking that staying away from him now is best.'

'I wouldn't do that. I would be right there in his face letting him scream at me all he wants till he's blue in the face. He needs to let all the anger out. He needs to yell at you. If you love him, you'll let him.'

'Do I? Do I really love this guy? Or am I just guilty?'

'I have no answer. You only know that.'

'But I'll need some answers from you too. Like where the hell have you been for two days in a row?'

'On a break.'

'Oh, come on Nige! I showed you mine, now you show me yours! What happened?'

'I got drunk, got laid, slept.'

'That was short. Now what?'

'I'm thinking of a long vacation. I want to go visit London, my family maybe. Try and make up with my father. I don't know.'

'You and your dad don't get along? I thought… well obviously I was wrong. Tell!'

'Not much to tell, actually. We drifted apart at some point. I'm not lying anymore… I'm bisexual. There I said it! Well, I had a … I had a restless youth let's call it that. When my father found out he sent me away. To military school, of course. Both my parents were awfully disappointed by my liking boys so to speak. That must be why I try so hard with women. Right now I feel like running away from here and going back home to have a long hard chat with my father. And I know I won't, I'll probably stop in front of the gate, stare at it for a while and turn around and leave… ' Nigel smiled to himself. He was talking, and telling the truth! Well, part of it, but still it felt good. To get to this point had been hard, but now he didn't care enough anymore to try to hide and play nice. He was preparing to leave, maybe never come back. He had not planed to speak of these things with Jordan, or anyone else for that matter, but something in her earlier sudden confession had made him open up as well.

'Ah! So we are both at turning points in our lives… ' She tried to joke. 'You want to finally be able to let out the queer in you and I'm trying to push myself into normal, lady like behavior. Well, I'd say we have a common goal.'

'Very funny.'

'Well, I'm off to the hospital, to let Woods scream at me some more and try to get the nurse to kick me out. See you later?'

He knew what her question meant. He had no answer.

'Maybe.'

As the elevator doors rang shut taking Jordan out of sight, Nigel got up and walked down the hall way to Macy's office. After a short knock, he entered.

'Well…come, come. Sit.' Nigel complied. He'd never felt so out of place sitting in that chair. He wished he could just vanish for a while like Jordan used to when in trouble, but he wasn't built that way. So he waited for Garret to make the first move. 'How 'bout we go grab a beer or two?' That question took Nigel by surprise. He didn't know what to expect, but in any case it wasn't an invitation to go for alcohol. Macy looked more tired than usual. So Nigel just nodded and got back up on his feet. They walked in silence, side by side and a strange feeling of companionship washed over Nigel. The nearest bar was just two streets down the block.

'Doctor M, I …'

'By this afternoon I won't be chief M.E. anymore, and by the time this shit's over and done I guess I won't qualify for Doctor either, so just call me Garret.'

'What?'

'Long story. The past is coming back to bite me in the ass, and I deserve it too. So what's up with you?'

For the second time that morning Nigel was thrown. Everyone seemed to have developed a taste for honesty in the time he missed out on.

'I think I'll be fine. I had some trouble getting it together again after the whole mess with Sarah…'

They filled each other in over the first two beers about all the details they'd missed. They never talked this much before and Nigel found that Garret was a very enjoyable companion. He'd never felt anything but respect and a form of admiration for the man sitting in front of him, but since they never shared their problems besides work, it had all been strictly professional between them. Garret never joined his staff on their nights out. Nigel knew the only one who managed to get under the man's skin was Jordan. Otherwise he would only get involved to comfort those he worked with without crossing a certain limit. Now it seemed Garret needed to talk to someone… Nigel just couldn't figure out why the man had turned to him. But he didn't spend too much time thinking about that. He felt weird. The man sitting in front of him was a whole different Garret. Sure it might be the sleepless night they had at the morgue and the four beers they just had, but still…

'You know the whole situation with Sarah surprised me. I mean… I don't mean to put you in an awkward position, but I always felt you were… gay. Not that I mean to criticize.' Now Nigel was positively speechless. Everyone had assumed at one time or the other that he was gay, but then thought better of it. But to hear this from his boss…

'I am. At least I was. I haven't had a male lover in such a long time… well since I got caught. My father caught me and since then I guess… I don't know I try to prove him wrong by getting involved with women.'

'There's an ocean between the two of you. I think you could let it go. I mean I don't really know what happened, but… speaking from a father's point of view, I couldn't just give up on my kid. No matter what she does.'

'I know he wouldn't share you're opinion. He thought I was broken, abnormal. Tried to fix things the best way he knew how, which was the army. Until a few minutes ago I was convinced I had to go home and try to fix my relationship with him, but I keep remembering what a huge brick wall stands between us. I can't go there.'

'You wanted to leave Boston? The morgue?'

'I have thought about it, yes. I just don't know where home is anymore.'

Garret smiled, his face lit up and he seemed much younger for a few seconds. 'I know how you must feel. So insecure, not knowing who you are anymore.' Nigel blinked and returned the smile, not entirely sure what the man in front of him just said. There was something about Garret smiling.

'Garret Macy, insecure? Hardly. You are the image of strength and…'

'No. It's just a mask. I used to think I was always right, I couldn't make a mistake. But in all my self-righteousness, I became arrogant. And now I have to learn the lesson, I'm going to loose all I built up all these years.'

The beer kept coming, helping the conversation flow easier, helping Nigel get over the weird feeling. Jokes were made in bitter, but bright humor. By noon they were little more than tipsy, come to think of it, Garret couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten this drunk. And he felt cheerful. For once the booze did its job: made him feel better about everything. As they carefully maneuvered them selves out of the bar, Garret tripped over the elevated door step and almost fell down in a pile if it weren't for two long, strong arms that came around him to steady him.

'Watch out there, boss…'

'It's Garreth…'


	2. Chapter 2

Part two

Garret played with the bottom button on his jacket. The voice in the speaker had announced a delay in the arrival of the plane and he was restless already. Nigel was due back in only a very short 20 minutes. Garret missed hanging around with Nigel. He felt like the Brit was the only one of his former staff not to judge him. Jordan was so disappointed lately, he wondered when she would come around and finally forgive him. She kept her distance long enough, taking her time. Nigel's visits were the only excitement he got anymore. Slokum had offered, or rather was forced to offer him a decent way out, an early retirement. Still, Garret felt nothing decent about it.

After their first night getting drunk, Garret and Nigel became more friends then he'd ever suspected they would. Nigel used to come over from work, and sometimes ask for advice on different cases. Kept him in the loop. And he never let him feel he was doing it out of pity. Nigel's friendship kept him going for months. But then he finally got to cash in his accumulated vacation time and went by his plan to visit his folks. Things were quiet enough at the morgue for that to happen. And for two weeks there was no Nigel. That's when Garret realized for the first time how important his presence had been. And he also realized how small the number of his friends was. But Nigel would be back any moment now and then, maybe next week they could take the fishing trip Garret was planning forever.

And there he was, coming out from the terminal, bag on his shoulder, head bowed. Still he looked taller than all the other passengers. His skin seemed whiter than usual, tired eyes looking aimlessly forward. Garret walked towards him and Nigel nearly ran him over.

'Bloody hell…sorry…Garret! I didn't expect to see you here.'

'Came to pick you up.' The older man smiled easing the bag from his shoulder onto his own. 'Tired?'

'Yesss. Long flight.'

'Let's drive you home then.'

The trip from the airport to Nigel's apartment was silent. The Brit kept starring out the car's window. Even for a tired man he seemed too silent. Garret felt a twinge of worry.

'Home sweet home!' Nigel decreed as Garret let his bag down by the living room's door. 'Want some tea?'

'Not even five yet. You must still be on European time.' He joked accepting the invitation by sitting on the couch. Soon enough Nigel returned with two steaming cups. He set Garret's down on the coffee table and made himself comfortable on the couch with his in hand.

'Good trip?' Garret asked being unable to keep silent anymore. Something was wrong, he could feel it in the younger man's posture.

'Bloody horrible… kept thinking about it the whole flight back here. Father died. Tree years ago. He left a will forbidding … forbidding the authorities to notify me. I still can't understand this man. I was his only relative and he didn't want me at his funeral.'

'What happened with the two of you? I mean you told me he was not thrilled with you're choices in love, but this seems… I feel there's more.' Garret had no idea what to say to what he'd just heard. So the only thing that seemed right was to ask for more details. The subject of Nigel's sexuality had remained untouched since the night they became friends. Garret felt oddly uncomfortable talking about it and yet curious as hell. Nigel sighed deeply before he took a sip from his tea.

'I was fresh out of med school and only had a few months of free time before starting my internship at the Old Kingdom Hospital. My father walked in on me and my lover while we were… well… we were making love. He only knew John as my friend and he wasn't supposed to come back so early. Anyway, bad luck, I guess. Needless to say he was shocked, he threw John out of the house, and mother was crushed. She kept crying about the grand children she'll never get to bounce off her knees. I ended up doing my internship as a navy recruit. I refused to go home after that… came to the land of the free instead.'

Garret didn't know what to say to that. He never imagined that a conflict between father and son ran so deep. Nigel looked very tired.

'I'm sorry' was all he managed to say.

'I'll be fine. Don't worry. I just can't process it all so fast. But I'm sure I'll get over it. I've had worst.' Nigel gave a weak smile.

'You look very tired. Maybe I should let you sleep off the trip. I'll call tomorrow morning. Go to bed.'

'Right. Thanks, Garret. We'll speak tomorrow.' Nigel walked his friend to the door. Garret was worried. As he walked down the few stairs he cursed himself for not being able to really talk to Nigel, to offer comfort. He felt like an ass.

After locking the door, Nigel walked back to the couch and picked up his cup again. He saw Garret's worry and he also saw the fear in his eyes. He knew Garret could not bring himself to actually hear the entire story. It didn't feel right. He felt his old habit creeping back into function. Hide the pain. Let no one see how deep it actually goes. He felt he made some progress in telling Garret everything about his relationship with Sarah and now it felt like he was right back at square one. He told him about Sarah all right, but Sarah was a woman and beside the trust Garret had earned, Nigel felt it was safe to talk about that because Sarah _was a woman_; it was something Garret could take. The things that were on his mind now were too much for the man in his opinion. So he just shut him out, as he always did. He hated doing that. He really had gotten fond of his new friend. Still he didn't feel ready to talk about all his secrets, secrets buried so deep he himself had forgotten he had them. He pushed them out of his mind and so far into his unconscious that they only surfaced in his nightmares.

A loud noise woke him up. He didn't feel himself falling asleep on the couch. And again he couldn't remember what he had dreamed. But he knew now what it was. He didn't need to remember the dream to know it's contains. He shuddered and instinctively hugged himself. Nigel got up and walked out into the hallway. His neighbor's door flung open. He walked in, his heart pounding. The living room was a mess. Cofeetable was upside down, a flowerpot lay broken on the floor, flowers scattered around. The lamp was also on the floor in pieces. Fighting the chill that was traveling down his spine he made his way to the bedroom. The landscape in there made his stomach churn. In the middle of the undone bed lay his neighbor's body. Lifeless. He was naked, tide to the bed. Blood was all over. Nigel took a deep breath and went closer. He grabbed the phone from the nightstand and dilled 911.

'Yes, hello! I.. I have a murder to report… ' He waited to have his call transferred, all the while tapping his foot nervously. He gave his name and his address. The police got there fairly fast, but it seemed forever to him. He couldn't even walk out from the room. He just stood there next to the bed staring at the mutilated dead body. This was the man he would borrow sugar from early in the morning when he had hectic weeks at the morgue and forgot to buy his own, the man he would exchange hellos on the stairway when they passed each other, the man whose cat he watched when he went out of town. 'The cat! What was its name? Bugger! Cat! Hey kitty! … Bijou!' He remembered. He walked through the flat calling the cat's name. It was nowhere to be found. When he started back to the bedroom he almost ran into the police officer coming into the apartment.

'Easy!'

'Wow! I'm sorry officer.'

'Did you call us in?'

'Yes that was me, Nigel Townsend. I live next door.'

'How did you come across the body?'

'I fell asleep on my couch and was awoken by a loud noise. I went out into the hallway to see what happened… I saw the door opened. He's in the bedroom.'

'Right. Did you touch anything, move anything?'

'I know better than that. Um… only the phone. I called from the bedroom phone.'

'You know better?'

'Um, yes. I'm a M.E. with the city morgue.'

'Do you have an ID?'

'Sure. Over at my place.'

He showed the officer over to his own apartment. He dug out his ID from the wallet and handed it over. The young police man seemed satisfied.

'We notified you're office already. They're on they're way over. Wanna lend a hand?'

Nigel just nodded and followed the police man back to the site. Jordan was already there, crouching next to the bed, taking samples.

'Hy, Nige!' She called looking over her shoulder. He joined her. 'This is ugly!' She said while he pulled on his gloves. They worked in silence after that, side by side, in perfect coordination. After all the preliminary procedures they loaded the body into the van and drove off, Jordan behind the wheel.

Once they were at the morgue and the body was on the table, Nigel felt more at ease with the whole thing. This was a place where he would normally look at dead bodies. Slokum came into the autopsy room to see the new case.

'This it?' He asked with a frown. 'What happened to him?'

'He was tortured, mutilated, then killed.' Jordan announced on a neutral tone pulling the sheet off. Slokum and Bug couldn't keep themselves from turning away from the sight. Jordan suppressed a smile at the textbook male reaction the mutilated body had brought on. Than she continued. 'He was severely beaten, tied up, the word 'fag' was carved into his chest, and his penis was cut off and then stuffed into his mouth.' Her explanation made the men in the room shudder again. 'He bled to his death.'

'I should have heard the screams… I'll run a tox screen, I bet he was drugged before… '

'Townsend, you are still officially on vacation. Why are you here?'

'It happened across the hall from my flat. I came in with Jordan.'

'Fine. But don't expect to get paid for today. You are on vacation. What you do with you're time is you're business.' With that Slokum was gone.

'What a grouch.' Bug mumbled under his breath. Nigel left without an other word. Jordan followed in his footsteps.

'Are you sure you can handle this, Nige?'

'Quite sure. I would do the tox screen anyway; I don't want to wait until tomorrow.'

'That's not what I meant. Did you know him?'

'More then I know my other neighbors. I'll be fine. I'm not sitting this one off.'

She raised her hands in defeat and returned to her work. Nigel rubbed his temples and focused on the test he was running. The familiar hum of his computer offered some comfort. He wasn't used to being affected by crime scenes. But he would do his job. He had to. Work was what he needed to keep his mind off all the other things that were wrong. Still this case cut to close to home in more ways then one.

'Yes! I knew it!' He whispered when the test came back positive for drugs. He printed the results and walked back to where Bug was performing the autopsy. 'He has a great amount of tetrazepam in his bloodstream.'

'Good. At least he didn't feel this being done to him. This bruise on his head indicates he was knocked out first. Blunt object, like a … I don't know yet.' Bug sounded nervous. 'I'll take some tissue samples for analysis. See if that tells us what the killer used to knock him out. But the cause of death is definitely great lose of blood. The prick cut him up and left him there.'

'Something's not right. I heard a loud noise and went to see what it was. If the noise would have been made by the killer while leaving, I should have found him still alive. He wouldn't have bled out so fast.' Nigel interjected on Bug's discourse, but talking more to himself than to the other man.

'Are you saying that he just stood there and watched his victim die? That's just…'

'Right. Look for needle points. He must have injected the drug after knocking him out.'

Nigel took the sample box Bug had finished preparing and left again. How could he have missed the struggle? Could he have slept so soundly? He made a stop for coffee before returning to his computer. He only left his work two other times to refill his mug. It was late in the afternoon when he finally hit the save key and shut the computer off. His back and neck felt stiff, his hands trembled slightly from too much coffee. He still couldn't figure out how it all happened. Something was missing. He signed out and left for Garret's apartment, his head buzzing. He walked across the park as fast as he could. The fresh air did some good, but the painful pressure behind his eyeballs didn't ease up.

Garret put the book down and went to answer his door, only to find a worn out Nigel on his door step.

'Where were you? I called this morning…'

'I was… I was at the morgue. A killing occurred in my building a little after midnight and I went in with Jordan.'

'God! What happened?' Garret asked, concern written all over his face while he let Nigel in and watched him sit in an armchair.

'Roger, my neighbor was murdered. I found him. Called it in.' Nigel pealed off his jacket. 'It makes no sense. There were no break in signs, he was drugged… but no needle point and I found no tetrazepam traces in his stomach contains and he was knocked out.'

'So we know that he knew his assailant, and ingested the drug… with a drink probably, or food… was there food or plates in the apartment?'

'I don't know yet. The evidence was being filed by the police, and it didn't get to the morgue before I left. But I don't see the point in knocking out someone who you already drugged.' Nigel felt tears stinging his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose to fight them back.

'Nigel, are you ok?'

'Yes… I … no. The man was tide up and the word 'fag' was cut into his flesh. His dick was cut off… and… I just… I have a hard time focusing. I have to get home. He has a cat. It must be fed. I just can't bring myself to go there.'

'You spent the night at work?'

'And I won't get paid for it either… Slokum considers I was still on vacation till this morning. Go figure.' Nigel tried his best to joke, but failed miserably as the first tear ran down his cheek.

'You have to rest. You can't solve anything with you're brain going on caffeine only.'

'I can't. I can't go home. I'm… ' Nigel got up as fast as he could and rushed to the bathroom. He barley made it. Kneeling in front of the toilet he threw up. He felt the cold sweat breaking out, soaking the back of his T-shirt fast. After he finished emptying his stomach he tried to get up, but just sat back against the bathroom wall instead. His long legs stretched out in front of him.

'Come on, get up.' Garret coaxed grabbing his arms to help.

'I'm sorry.'

Garret brought him back to his feet and the room spined mercilessly, so Nigel closed his eyes against the vortex. Macy struggled to steady the taller figure and walked him to the bedroom.

'You obviously need a lot of sleep. The damn cat won't starve in a day.' He helped Nigel out of his boots and pulled the covers up over his chest. As he got no answer, he looked up, but the man in his bed was already drifting off. Garret had never seen Nigel in such a poor shape. Or maybe he didn't pay enough attention in the past? No, this couldn't have passed unnoticed by anyone. He wondered how much he had slept while he was away. Judging by the state of exhaustion he was in now, probably very little. He went to the bar to fix himself a drink. Last night's happenings must have really taken a lot out of his friend. "The word 'fag' cut into his flesh" oh, crap! He only now realized what this meant. He was as homophobic as any other straight male, but this… he always tried to be politically correct and never allowed his personal feelings to interfere. But this was his friend! He was fond of Nigel. This was the man who hung around after everyone else had given up on him. Realizing that he never allowed himself to acknowledge Nigel's sexuality, really acknowledge it and be fine with it, he felt even worst. He tried to imagine Nigel in the arms of another man. He was surprised at how easily the mental image formed once he allowed it to. Nigel's pale skin caressed by strong male hands, smooth chest against another smooth chest, their… Wow! Garret shook his head to clear the way too explicit images forming there. The thought of Nigel naked sent a shiver down his spine. Especially knowing that said Nigel was now sleeping in his bed. No good! This was the reason he hadn't thought about these things before. He couldn't bring himself to look Nigel in the eye while acknowledging that theoretically… come to think of it he didn't have female friends. Sure there was Jordan, but he'd always felt a more father or older brother like love for her. The other women he'd been friends with had ended up in his bed eventually. He shook his head again.

Nigel only woke up with the first sun rays that reached his pillow, and Garret had spent the night in his daughter's room. She rarely used it anymore, since she came to visit and stay over night less and less. At first he couldn't make out his surroundings, they were unfamiliar. Then slowly he remembered the day before, he remembered falling asleep while Garret talked about… well, that he couldn't remember. Suddenly he felt a twinge of guilt for putting Garret out of his own bed. He went straight for the kitchen after a very short stop in the bathroom to quieten nature's call. His host was already up and dressed, brewing a fresh pot of coffee. Nigel couldn't help himself and groaned as he walked into the kitchen and the smell of coffee hit his nostrils.

'Morning. Feeling any better?'

'I'm sorry for yesterday, Garret. I was being childish. I should have gone home and… '

'Nonsense. You are welcome here anytime.' Garret couldn't believe the words that had just left his mouth. Not that he didn't mean them, and that was even worst, but he never had people over like that. Unless he planned to sleep with said people, or was already doing so. Nigel only smiled and sat at the end of the table, crossing his legs. 'So, what will you have? Scrambled eggs? Toast?'

'That would be fine, thank you.'

Breakfast was ready in a few moments, and they eat in silence. Nigel only then realized how hungry he really was. 'I didn't know you cooked. It's really good.' He finally spoke after swallowing the last bite.

'It's just breakfast. I can do better. Or at leas I used to when I was still married. Coffee?'

'Please!'

Garret filed up two mugs, handed one to Nigel and sat back down.

'You really feeling better? You still look tired. Maybe you should take a few more days off.'

'I need to… I need to see Roger's case through. But I'm fine, really. I'll bounce back. I always do.'

'You keep saying that. Maybe this was too much. I understand why this bothers you so much. I'm sorry.'

Garret's tone was sincere and Nigel gave him a smile. No, Garret didn't know why, but that was his fault too, maybe he should trust the man more, give more credit and bring himself to tell him everything. Soon, he promised in silence, soon you will understand. That might drive you away, but I'll try it for once, I'll tell you. Just not right now. Nigel needed to get back to his lab and his computer. Hopefully the evidence file was there for him to examine now and put his mind at ease.

'Thanks for everything. I must go, but I'll let you know how things evolve.'

With that Nigel emptied his mug and grabbing his jacket he left. Garret only shut the door after him and went back to his unfinished coffee. He should have coaxed more on the subject. He should make Nigel comfortable enough to talk about that… but he couldn't get over his embarrassment. It had been a long time since he felt insecure about his sexuality, but Nigel brought back all those feelings and questions. This friendship only felt right when he thought of Nigel as a heterosexual man. Every time he tried to see his friend for who he really was things became confused. So he liked Nigel, big deal! The man was a brilliant M.E. with a soft heart, great will to help others, beautiful hands, skilled with the computer, with a twisted, yet excellent sense of humor. What was there not to like? And again his insecurities came back. What if? Could he be attracted to Nigel? Sure last night, when he tried and succeeded imagining him with another man, he had felt a strange tremor, but that could be the result of the lacking of a sex life lately. He could barley remember when he last got laid, so synapses might play tricks on him. But there was more than just a physical thing; he felt the need to help Nigel, to nurse him back to health last night. That could be his medical training though, like a pavlovian reflex, or something. Yeah, OR something. Maybe he should try this out. Next time he saw Nigel and felt that odd tremor, maybe he should allow it to really flood him and see how he feels then, without suppressing his feelings? Not act out on it, of course, just follow that feeling and see where it led. Then he might figure out what this whole thing was and go from there. Nigel would never know.


	3. Chapter 3

Part tree

Fishing for dead people's cocks in a garbage can was no barrel of laughs. But he just had to check. Bug had finished performing the autopsy when Nigel got back to the morgue and when Nigel asked where the cut off body part was Bug simply said he'd thrown it away. So now here he was, elbows deep in a plastic container where all disposed of organs went. Many pieces of red, bloody flesh he didn't even recognize anymore, so he was fairly confident once he would come across the piece he was looking for it would be obvious. So he just pushed past a heap of bloody mess and… ah! There! For a few moments he just stood there looking at it. He had never had a dick in his hand that wasn't attached to a body. Even those he'd seen in med school were in jars, and he wouldn't actually take them out. He placed it into the plastic bag and returned to Trace.

His hunch turned out to be right. On the shriblled skin on the underside he found the missing needle point.

'Gee, I know some people have a size issue, but looking at it through a microscope doesn't really make it bigger, ya know?'

Nigel looked up into Jordan's amused eyes. He was so tired again the joke took a minute to sink in. Then he smiled. 'Yes, but it looks different. The killer injected the drug in here.' He said tracing the vein on the penis's underside with a gloved finger. 'That's why I couldn't find it on his body. He knocked Roger out, undressed him, tide him to the bed. He waited for him to come around, he coaxed him into having an erection and then, when this vein was swollen enough not to miss, he injected him with tetrazepam.' Even Jordan shuddered at that piece of info so vividly exposed for her. 'Just when I thought I've seen everything! And then he waited for the drug to take effect and proceeded to cut the word into his chest and cut off…'

'Yes. And he stuffed it into his mouth making him, well manipulating his jaw, to bite down on it. He hoped the teeth mark would conceal the needle point.'

'Smart!' Nigel gave her a dirty look at that.

'No. Stupid. He missed his mark.'

'Wait a second! His jaw was too tight for that to work. The muscles would be… there is a bite mark over the needle point.'

'Wanna bet a month's salary the imprint does not mach the victim?'

'We have the killer's partial dental print.' Nigel nodded and for the first time she could see satisfaction in his eyes.

And then there were tones of work to do to elevate the tooth marks from the skin and analyze it, and make a virtual replica of it. Which meant Nigel sat at his computer for hours, but in the end the partial dental print was a 3D image on his screen? Of course the autopsy report was completed and filed with the police. Detective Capra was handling the case. She walked into Nigel's office and slumped down in his chair. 'It is a breakthrough, but it would be nice to have a suspect with teeth to compare to you're pretty picture. The problem is, your neighbor was way too discreet with his adventures and nobody knows of his love life. Since this was a crime of passion…' She lifted her hands helplessly.

'WE are not totally helpless. The killer has a false tooth. The first right incisive has a different pattern and is a bit thicker. See?' He asked pointing at the screen. 'Now I have done a bit of research and the material used for such things tends to become thinner in time. This tells us the false tooth was put in less than say, a month ago. I don't think he went out of town for a new tooth.'

'So? Dental records are private. It takes a federal warrant to get them and do you know how many dentists the fair city of Boston has?'

'One hundred and forty two. 15 opened less than a month ago. 56 don't do this type of work.'

'That still leaves us with, what, 71?'

'Ah, but only five still use this sort of material. The respectable ones use the new, trendy stuff.'

'Again, I wonder, why do you do this? Can't you just say what you have to say? Get to the point?'

'You're still no fun. And I haven't made a point yet. Roger's dentist is one of them, Dr. Warshall.'

Capra just sighed deeply and rolled her eyes.

The visit to doctor Warshall's office turned out to be a real breakthrough. Detective Capra had now a list of five suspects. She was sitting in a comfortable chair, sipping coffee and looking through the folders, while waiting for Nigel to show up. She would have normally met him at the morgue, but Jordan had called her that morning asking her to get Nigel out of there at least for a while. She had sounded truly concerned for her workmate. And since this was a meeting with Nigel Townsend, the wittiness, not doctor Townsend the M.E., the detective agreed. Who knew, this might even help. And she had also noticed that Nigel looked paler then his usual self. And speak of the devil! The tall man sat down in front of her, giving a weak smile with his hello.

'So why did you ask that we meet here?'

'I though a change of scenery might help. You are obviously affected by this particular case, and I thought I could find out why. Were you and the victim close?'

'I told everyone already, not that much. We said hello to each other in the hallway, and sometimes borrow things from each other.'

'Like what?'

'Sugar, milk… why are you pressing this? I thought we were discussing suspects?'

'We are.'

'Bloody hell! Am I a suspect now?'

She did not think his face could turn any paler, but it did. He looked like he was going to be sick.

'No. Not at all. I was just trying to understand why this is getting to you the way it is.'

'Fine. I'm bisexual. All right? This just hits way to close to home for me. Now can we get over this?'

'Ow. Well, ok. I'll show you the pictures of the suspects, if you recognize anyone…' And she proceeded to do just that. Nigel looked at each picture in turn.

'Her! I remember seeing her in the building a few times. I never saw them together though.'

'Victoria Paige. Age 45. Let's pay her a visit first then.'

'I'll come with you.'

'It's not necessary.'

'Well, I'm coming anyway.'

'Like I could stop you. I'll come by the morgue tomorrow morning and we can go. Do not go alone before that. You might ruin everything. If she is our killer, she probably feels she got away with it by now. We need that surprise element.'

Nigel nodded his agreement and stood to leave. His mind was spinning a mile a minute and he was sure he was going to be sick very soon. He had not been home for the last four days and sleeping on his office couch was not restful. He was seriously considering moving out from the building. Maybe he could grab a beer with Garret before returning to the morgue for another night of uncomfortable sleep. He called Garret from his cell and asked him to meet him at a pub down the street from the coffee house he had just left. He was half way through his fourth beer when Garret arrived.

'Rough day?'

'Not as bad as tomorrow will be. We have our first suspect.'

'That's good news. Getting this bastard off the streets as soon as possible….'

'It's a woman.'

'Ah. Nigel you look worst then ever.'

'Man, you just know how to cheer a bloke up, don't you?'

'Cut the bullshit. You are exhausted. If I was still in charge I would put you on a forced leave effective immediately. You are going to kill yourself over this case. It's not worth it.'

'Right…' Nigel sighed as he emptied the bottle signaling the waitress for another. 'But if it's all the same to you I would now like to get plastered and forget about it.'

'I'm taking you home'

'I'm with the bike. And I'm not done drinking myself into oblivion shust yet.'

'I don't care. I can ride a bike. Come on.'

'Not going home…' Nigel spoke softly as the way too fast ingested beer was taking effect. He couldn't even fight Garret as he hauled him up form his seat. Once he was upright he was hard pressed at keeping his stomach's content from rising. He almost doubled over, but Garret

steadied him. He let himself be guided outside to the parking lot.

'Not…'

'I know. We are going to my place.' Reassured at that, Nigel let himself be maneuvered on the bike, and Garret got on behind him securing him in place. The ride was a blur. Next thing he knew he was hugging Garret's toilet seat, vomiting, and if he would have been sober enough to think strait he would have marveled at the incongruence of the amount of what came out of him compared to how little he had eaten these last few days.

Hours later Nigel woke up in Garret's bed. As he regained his grip on reality he realized he was not alone. An arm was draped over him and someone was softly snoring in his ear. He turned to find Garret asleep and hugging him. He tried to maneuver himself out of the embrace without waking him to such a potentially embarrassing situation but failed as Garret stirred awake.

'Sorry… I need to, um go to the loo.'

'I didn't… I mean… Damn! Look, Nigel, this…' Garret was at a loss for words. He never meant to fall asleep. He just thought that with Nigel passed out as he was he should remain in close proximity in case he woke up and was sick again. He could have sat in the chair, but he though there would be no harm in getting closer since Nigel would not be aware of it, making this the perfect chance to experiment with the new feelings he was developing for him. No harm done. But then he had been lulled asleep by Nigel's steady breathing. And now he didn't know how to explain himself without offending the man next to him.

'It's alright. You fell asleep. I'm to blame, really, for putting you in the position of having to bring me here in stead of going home.'

'Are you any better? You kind of scared me with all that vomiting.'

'It's out of my system. I'm fine. Don't worry.'

They were sitting on the bed now, facing each other. Garret felt relieved for the reaction Nigel had and giving him a way out of the whole situation. But he also felt guilty for taking advantage like that. Settling next to Nigel, aligning his body to the other man's had felt good. Putting his arm around him had felt even better. It felt safe, comfortable, familiar in a way Garret had never experienced before. Lying next to Nigel, letting go of inhibition and fear had been liberating. For once he stopped thinking of love in terms of male and female. And he could finally admit to himself how much this man had gotten to mean to him. Of course when this admission occurred, the male object of his affections had been deeply asleep. As opposite to now, when he was wide awake and looking him in the eye. Garret wondered if the feelings he had could be admitted to in any circumstances. Was he able to act out on these feelings, or was he to be a coward and keep them hidden forever? But what if he was mistaking friendship and worry and affection for something else? What if, fueled by curiosity, his emotions were playing tricks on him? If he were to say something could he follow his words with action? Could he, for instance kiss Nigel? And then, as if his brain had shut down, ruining his process of thought, he leaned forward and did just that. His lips covered Nigel's eliciting a groan of surprise form the other man. But Garret did not pull back, instead he rose to his knees, the motion bringing him infinitely closer and brought his arms around Nigel. He deepened the kiss by catching the other's lips between his own, one at a time, coaxing him to respond. Then Nigel's hand came up between them, placing his palm on Garret's chest and giving a gentle but firm push.

'What…? Why?'

'Nigel, sorry. I don't mean to… well, I do. I do mean to kiss you. I have been thinking about it for some time now. I realize that maybe this was not the perfect moment. I just didn't want you to misread my falling asleep next to you. And I couldn't find the right words.'

'Come again?'

At that Garret brought their lips back together again hoping this would be answer enough. He felt Nigel relax into it this time. But then he was pushed away again.

'I can't.'

'Ow. I'm sorry. I didn't think this through. You don't like me like that.'

'No! It's not that. Really. Oh, God. This is really terrible, isn't it? I do. I like you, Garret. But I never thought… I didn't expect you to like me like this. Bloody hell! This is a really stupid conversation.'

'Well I didn't expect this either. And I'm sorry for picking such a bad time for it too. But I gotta say, this feels great. Better then I remembered.'

'Stop apologizing. You caught me off guard.'

'You're right. This is a stupid conversation. How about we stop talking?'

'Any thoughts about what we should do instead?' Nigel asked with a wolfish smile.

'I might have a couple of ideas.' Answered Garret before leaning in for another kiss. This time Nigel did not stop him. He never expected Garret to be such a tender kisser. He always imagined a rough macho he-man bedroom-personality for Garret. It struck him just now how weird it was that he had thought about what his boss might be like between the sheets. Come to think of it, he had secretly envied Lily for the office romance she had with the man. But then he had sincerely felt for her when it was all over. When Garret gently caressed his cheek his own arms came around the other man's waist, hugging him closer. The kiss felt way too good to be true. Neither of them realized that they had slowly shifted position and Garret was now lying on top of Nigel, one of his legs sliding naturally between the other's. The kissing grew more passionate and their hips started to move slowly. The feel of Garret's growing hardness against his stomach brought Nigel back to reality with memories he wished he didn't have.

'Oh, crap! Fuck!'

'Hmm…what?'

'Sorry. I just got carried away a bit there. I'll be fine.' Said Nigel wiggling out from beneath Garret.

'Is this too fast for you? Sorry. I don't mean to…'

'No! You are just fine. I just really… I'm not used to this… being with a man anymore.'

'Well it is sort of new for me too. Except that one time. But that wasn't like this.'

'Why, Garret, you wild thing! Do tell.'

'It was very long ago. I guess British men are my true weakness. This must have happened about 20 years ago. I was on holiday. In London. And I went to a bar or club or something. I met a girl. We danced for a while. Then she took me to this storage room. Enough said she was a he. But I only figured that one out when his dick poked me in the thigh. Guess I was pretty dumb.'

'And?' Nigel asked incredulously.

'We ended up giving each other a hand job. Nothing serious. I kindda freaked, but he was gorgeous.'

'Did you enjoy it?'

'Yeah. It was very intense. We… we looked each other in the eye while it happened. I had some serious self questioning to do afterwards.'

'Did he… was he… I mean, did he say his name was Nin, by any chance?' He asked again blushing slightly.

'Yes. How did you…?'

'That bloke was me, Garret.' Nigel was laughing out loud until Garret's lips came over his again. This new piece of information renewed Garret's excitement. Remembering those stolen moments had been the most pleasing little secret he had over the years. Still, he could feel the other man holding back. Could he still be insecure about how Garret felt and what he wanted? At first he thought that sharing his other adventure that involved a man might convince Nigel that this was right, but apparently Nigel needed more reassuring.

'You are such a talented kisser. I want to be with you again, to feel what I felt in that storage room. Please?' He felt Nigel shudder in his arms. Nigel's lips found their way to Garret's throughout, nibbling with small bites that nearly made him come undone. Garret's hands moved to unbutton the other man's shirt. He needed to run his palms over that smooth chest that started his fantasies in the first place. Nigel tensed and pulled back licking his lips and avoiding Garret's eyes.

'I can't. I'm sorry.'

He got off the bed too fast for Garret to be able to react. He called out after him and got no answer but the sound of the front door closing behind Nigel.

Nigel just kept on running, his bike forgotten where Garret had parked it. He got to the morgue a little out of breath, his shirt still half unbuttoned. 'How can I be this stupid? I'm a moron! That was Garret, for God's sake!' His lips were still tingling from the passionate kisses. But he just couldn't block those images out of his mind, and he was unable to tell Garret about them just yet. He had wanted to say all those things to Garret, but as he tried he had found himself toungtide. Now he wanted to kick himself for breaching a new level of childish behavior by running out on his would be lover like he had. But in his own defense, the sweetness of those kisses, the heat that grew wild within him at hearing Garret's broken plea… everything had just overwhelmed him. 'Good ol' dad might have been right after all. I'm not sane.'

'Did the date go well?'

'What?'

'I heard you had a date with detective Capra earlier today. You were out for 5 hours… a man just has to wonder about what you could have been up to in all that time.'

'Well, Bug… If I tell you this, will you keep it a secret?' Nigel asked licking his dry lips. Bug's eyes widened as he nodded. 'We… went for coffee, and she had this lovely dress on.' Nigel drew out his words, his voice low.

'Yes, and?' Bug was loosing his patience fast.

'We looked at suspect photographs and decided to go question the first in line tomorrow.' He told his friend in his most casual tone earning a smack in the shoulder from the much shorter man. 'What? You were the one who teased me first! Don't I have the right to reciprocate?' Bug gave a warm smile, glad to see his friend back to a brighter humor.

'And I thought you were an adult. And just for that I'm not going to tell you your shirt is half open.' All sarcasm was lost from Bug's voice though.

Nigel proceeded to the lab, buttoning up quickly.

tbc


End file.
